Safe online dating

With online dating by far the most commonplace way to meet someone new these days, the majority of your matches will be genuinely looking for love or companionship. But did you know that dating platforms are also popular with less honest users who exploit them for fraud, abuse and other harms? If you become a victim, you won’t find out until it’s too late.

And now, it’s even harder to spot the difference.

Romance fraudsters have always been clever at impersonation and manipulation, but now, more are using AI (Artificial Intelligence) to make their photos, messages, phone calls and even video calls all the more convincing. However savvy you think you are, you can still become a victim.

Get protected

If you’re trying online dating for the first time, please take time to read these expert tips on protecting yourself. If you’re a regular, why not read them anyway by way of a reminder?

Choose a reputable dating site or app. Read reviews and better still, get recommendations from friends and family.
Stay on the platform’s messaging service, however much your date asks you to communicate outside it. Do this until you’re confident your date is who they say they are, and that you completely trust them.
Use strong and unique passwords and otherlogin details on dating sites and apps, to minimise the chance of your account being hacked.
Check out the person, not the profile. Think and act rationally, don’t be afraid to ask questions and don’t rush into anything.
Search matches by name, profile pictures or any repeatedly used phrases and the term ‘dating scam’, ‘romance scam’ or ‘catfish’. Type ‘Search with an image on Google’ into your search engine to check if the profile photo is genuine or has been stolen. You can access this via the free Self-Help Tool Centre on the Get Safe Online website.
If your new match seems too keen or is rushing you, it may indicate that they have other motives.
If somebody you’ve met online asks you to send money, bank details or passwords, don’t do it, however convincing or heartbreaking the reason they give.
Don’t reveal personal details such as full name, date of birth, home address or names, details and locations of family members. You could be compromising your or their safety.
Steer clear of sending intimate images or videos of yourself to someone you’ve met online. Sextortion and revenge porn are becoming more commonplace, and both can lead to substantial trauma for the victim.
If anybody tells you not to mention them to your friends and family, they may be trying to isolate or coercively control you. Think seriously about ending the conversation and blocking them.
If you’re hooking up in person for the first time, your safety is paramount. Tell a friend or family member where and when you’re going. Arrange your own transport to and from the date, meet in a busy place, keep your phone on and arrange for someone to call you to give you an opportunity to make your excuses and leave early.

Report it

If you become a victim of romance fraud, report it immediately to Action Fraud on www.actionfraud.police.uk or on 0300 123 2040 (or if you’re in Scotland, Police Scotland on 101). Also, report it to the dating site or app where you met the perpetrator. Report any assaults or coercively controlling behaviour to the police.

For free, practical advice on dating online safely, visit getsafeonline.org, choose ‘Protecting Yourself’ then ‘Safe Online Dating’